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Do You Need Marriage Counseling? 5 Signs

Two human hands holding the other to symbolize romantic partnership or marriage.

Life can be stressful and sometimes this stress can take a toll on our relationships. There are dozens of reasons why couples seek marriage counseling and couples therapy. From finding ways to work through money issues to breaking the constant pattern of arguments to discussing a lack of intimacy, marriage counseling can help.

What is Marriage counseling?

Marriage counseling or couples therapy focuses on helping couples learn new ways to understand each other and find tools to help them work together through difficult times. Couples therapy is for any type of relationship. Whether you’re dating, engaged, living together, or married, a counselor specialed in couples therapy can be very beneficial.

What Are Some Signs That You & Your Partner May Need Marriage Counseling?

Marriages, like most things in life, change and alter depending on where the couple is in their lives together and individually. There are times when everything is going great and everything is exciting. Then there are times when it can be hard to see the good side of things or remember what brought you two together in the first place. Wherever you are on your journey in life, couples therapy is for every stage of life. 

Here are five signs to look for in a relationship that may mean it’s time to meet with a counselor.

Feeling That You’ve Grown Apart

After years of being together, having a home, and or starting a family, some couples can lose sight of what brought them together originally. As life becomes busy with things, kids, or career events couples can forget to take time to reconnect and find moments to be intimate. This can lead to a sense of separation and feelings of deep loneliness. Marriage counseling will help couples remember what brought them together in the first place and reignite some of the old feelings they had to help rebuild their connection.

Someone Has Been Unfaithful

One-third of couples who go to marriage counseling after someone has been unfaithful keep their union. Infidelity can be different things for people and doesn’t always mean someone physically cheated. A couple must talk about what their idea of infidelity is and what each of their boundaries is. It’s not uncommon for someone to cheat as a way to deal with things that have been avoided in the relationship for years. Couples who seek professional help and are willing to try whatever it takes to keep the union together can make it through this difficult time. 

A gay couple sitting across from a therapist talking about their relationship issues.

You Have More Arguments Than Good Moments

In every relationship, there are arguments. Arguments are a normal part of life, but if it starts to seem like there are more arguments than good moments, this can be a sign you may need a counselor. Some people are comfortable with confrontation. While others are quick to run from them. And some tend to be passive-aggressive. Therapy will each person understand their reactions to confrontation. A counselor can show you how to diffuse arguments healthily, giving you guidance on how to respectfully and reasonably handle tough moments.

Disagreements Over Money

Maybe you both have very different spending habits. Or maybe there is a disagreement on how to save money or there is a lot of stress around the lack of money available. Money differences can create anxieties that may affect a couple’s ability to manage day-to-day tasks and challenges. A counselor will help you understand your relationship with money and how it is shaping your thoughts about yourself and others.

Lack of Love Life in the Relationship

Intimacy is vital in a relationship, but it is also something that can easily be affected by the changes people go through in life. Health issues, medication side effects, menopause, or general life stressors may impact sex drive. Or someone in the relationship may be bored of the same old routine they’ve been doing for years and see intimacy as just another to-do. Having a counselor you are comfortable with can help guide you both to be comfortable constructively talking about these private matters together.

An older couple sitting on a brown couch across from a therapist to meet for marriage counseling.

How Effective is Marriage Counseling?

Marriage counseling can be very effective for couples who are willing to be open with each other and accept a counselor’s guidance. It’s important to find a couples counselor with who you are both comfortable. In most cases, the sooner you notice issues arising and the earlier you start seeing a counselor, the more effective counseling can be.

How to Bring Up Marriage Counseling With Your Spouse 

Discussing the option of going to counseling together can be tough especially if someone in the relationship is against therapy. Here are five ways to help express your need to meet with a marriage counselor.

  1. Be honest with your partner about what struggles you are facing.
  2. Be clear with your motives and set clear goals to focus on.
  3. Don’t become defensive if they get defensive, and also, don’t play the blame game.
  4. Let them know you love them and that this is an investment to help the relationship as a whole.
  5. Set time aside to find and choose a counselor together. 

Ready to Start? Let Real Life Counseling Help!

Whether you and your partner just got together or have been married for over 20 years, we have counselors ready to help you reach your relationship goals. Real Life Counseling is dedicated to helping people learn skills to face every day and life-changing challenges. Contact us today to set up your first appointment.